I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
