Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
