Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I checked into jail on foursquare
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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