Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
