the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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