i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
