Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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