Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
