Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
