girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize