How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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