Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
