as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
YAS. BRING CRAB.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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