My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
