Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
