Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
