Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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