i think my mom watched the whole time
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
