he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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