All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
