We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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