so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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