quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
