Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
