Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
