Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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