Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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