yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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