I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
