Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
