Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
