I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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