thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you guys were way drunker than both of me
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
if only i could text you this smell
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
