escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
