do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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