summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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