you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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