which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
