fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
my poor anus
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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