so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
