please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
