Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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