whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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