I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
