dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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