looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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