wat bout pragnant strippers??
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
