I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
