White coat. Heels.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
