Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
