Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Are we still banned from the library?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
