Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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