Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
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