Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Randomize
