well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I got inside last night via doggy door
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
