he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
