You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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