She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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